Since our wedding last December, I've spent more time mulling over Jesus's words in Mark on husband and wife: So they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together let man not separate. In the past, I've always interpreted this as a warning to be vigilant about outside treats, to protect against intrusions. But now that I'm experiencing it from the inside, I am noticing that a more subtle and insidious danger exists- my husband and I both face the daily temptation to rupture our one-ness by acting as individuals when we are designed and commanded to function as a single life. One Flesh.
For instance, in decisions. When we are not physically together, inevitably we will encounter choices to be made that will affect our marriage to some degree. I am a very decisive person by nature, so to stop and consult my husband is both difficult and counterintuitive for me. But when I yield to God's direction and surrender my own need to control, I find that the outcome is better than what I had planned myself.
As his wife, I am called to trust my husband's judgement and ultimately to respect the decisions he makes on behalf of our family. Which is not to say that my opinion doesn't matter; only that my role is to support and not to detract.
To be one flesh means to be one body; and the body parts can't live if they don't work together. In the same way, our marriage can't survive if we refuse unity in the name of our own individual desires. To use some of Jesus's other words, later borrowed by Abraham Lincoln: a house divided against itself cannot stand.
So every day, with God's help, I will strive to defeat my own pride and self-will and instead watch our bond grow stronger.
