God Passing By

Sometimes the best barometer of God's presence and action in my life is actually my changing self- how my perceptions, choices and reactions have shifted.  Like ripples on a surface of water indicate the wind's activity, increases in my own spiritual maturity reflect God's acting upon me. Most of all, I see this in my capacity to love.  

I am encouraged when a situation presents itself that previously would have made me impatient or found me indifferent and instead I am able to see with a new perspective.  On the flip side, it also helps to reflect and see where I may have missed an opportunity.  How could I have loved that person better? How would God have liked me to respond? Each day, when viewed this way, provides opportunities for growth.  

In the book of Exodus we read about Moses boldly asking God to appear to him, saying, "show me your glory."  To be honest I don't fully understand what he means by that, but the essence seems to be that he wants the Mystery revealed, that talking with God still leaves him curious and wanting to see the Almighty face-to-face.  But there also seems to be some doubt there, a need for more proof.  (Apparently the parting of the Red Sea wasn't reassuring enough.)  In response God, ever patient and generous,  explains to him that he cannot see fullness of the divine glory but that Moses will be allowed to see God's back as He passes by.  

Like much of the Old Testament, this passage leaves me with many questions. What does God's back look like? Is it un-glorious? How does Moses benefit from such a strange encounter? What does God have up His sleeve here?  Like Moses, I'm frustrated by the mystery.  Only a piece of the puzzle has been revealed.

Yet more and more I'm noticing that my own relationship with God follows this pattern.  I hear His Voice (in my heart, not my ears)  but I am always asking to see Him.  Now that I think about it, maybe He is passing in front of me every day and I can clearly see His "back" if I look with the right eyes.  

Maybe that means listening with empathy to the problems of someone I find abrasive and instead of judging offering any help or love I can.  Or being more conscious of the unmet needs and struggles of others.

I take comfort in these everyday victories most of all because I know, deep down, that the change didn't start with me.  I am being molded by a wise and loving hand.  I can't see Him, but that doesn't mean God isn't passing by.