Who doesn't love a new blessing or an answer to prayer. God is a Giver of very good gifts, and it can be thrilling to see His provision in a personalized way in our lives. But I can say from personal experience that each new gift is also a test of priorities. My heart is clingy, and it's all too easy for me to grab hold of a good thing in the way I'm only supposed to cling to God. For example:
Last week I discovered a brand-new, beautiful indoor pool on base. I can't take credit; I know without a doubt that He led me there, and I am over the moon excited about it. I had lamented to my husband not long ago that I was bored with my at-home pregnancy workouts and I really miss trail running like I loved to do before I became pregnant. The exercise felt great, and I was invigorated by trying something new and different that I had never done before. In between laps, my thought process started to go like this:
Wow, this is awesome. I love this pool. I wish I always had access to it. What if we move? Well, there will be pools on base wherever we go. But what if we don't live near base? What if I can't find a good pool? And so on. Clearly I had begun to take it upon myself to ensure that I would have this blessing in the future. Red flag. Healthier thoughts would have been Thank You, Lord. I can see once again how well You understand and anticipate my needs and desires. I trust You to continue to meet those needs and desires in the future as You deem best for me.
But it didn't hit me until later. As I delightedly showered off and admired the pristine locker room (complete with shampoo and swimsuit water extractor) I felt God speak to my heart.
The heart of the matter, He helped me to realize, is not simply being grateful to God or even recognizing that every good gift comes from Him (although both are critical.) The key to being truly blessed- as in biblically blessed, meaning to have lasting joy, to pause and appreciate His intentions for us and the totally unique love that motivates each blessing. And to bask as much as possible in the fact that the CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE is deeply and passionately-even jealously- in love with us.
This morning as I opened my Bible and tried to wake up, He put it to me this way: when my husband gives me a thoughtful gift, I am deeply touched by his generous love for me. I appreciate and enjoy the gift, but my primary happiness and excitement comes from the recognition that he has been thinking of me and desired to do a selfless act for my benefit.
Now, by the same token, I know my husband would be hurt if I only thanked him briefly (or not at all, if we're really giving a metaphor for God) and proceeded to be totally consumed and distracted by his gift. He would probably even become angry if I started to treat that gift itself as the source of my happiness, to the point of ignoring him.
Well...you can probably guess the statement I'm about to make, but I'm going to make it anyway. That is precisely how God feels (or says He feels in Scripture) when each one of us- closer to His Heart than even a husband or wife- cling to blessings in a way that elevates them to idol status. Exhibit A: Me obsessing over the pool.
In the book of Hosea, God more or less fleshes this out for us. Reading it is illuminating, because there's just something we don't get about the word "idolatry" that we understand better when given a human comparison. Basically, God commands the Old Testament prophet Hosea to marry a prostitute named Gomer, knowing she will be unfaithful to him. God then tells him that this is to symbolize God's covenant relationship to Israel (read: all humanity) which we again and again, throughout history going all the way back to the Israelites, violate when we run after idols. A few of mine: the "perfect" body, human approval and praise, fancy indoor pools, even food. Hosea is commanded to love her, chase after her, and remain faithful to her and care for her needs even as she cheats on him. A powerful picture of God's merciful pursuit of us.
I challenge you, reader, to check out Hosea and as you do to consider your own false gods. It's one of the shorter books in the Bible and you can manage it a day or two. It's worth investing your time and will lead you to greater joy as you internalize the truth that the Source of all that is good in your life, and all you desire, is both inexaustible and hopelessly devoted to you.
